Phoebe Prince was Too Sexy for Her Own Good
On the story of Phoebe Prince, Christopher Caldwell in the Financial Times writes:
Prince’s family moved from Ireland to South Hadley, Massachusetts, last autumn so that 14-year-old Phoebe could be near her cousins and get to know the US. Pretty, cheerful, exotic and naive, she had what is described as a “fling” with the star of the football team. A clique of aggressive girls, who coveted that role for themselves, viewed her as a usurper. They organised a campaign of social ostracism and physical intimidation… They called her “the whore” and “the Irish slut”, it is claimed… Prince spent weeks of sobbing and fear before she hanged herself on January 14.
In response to this tragedy, the Massachusetts legislature passed anti-bullying legislation. It is indeed strange that bullying, which has occurred among young people since the beginning of time, is now suddenly an issue that requires legal action. What about the countless billions of children who have experienced bullying since the human race arose? Why was legal action never considered an option until Phoebe Prince? Indeed, why was it not considered an option after Hope Witsell, a 13 year-old Florida girl who similarly killed herself after sexual mocking from peers? The fact that the law has never been invoked against bullying indicates that the real issue is not legal or political in nature. It is cultural. And on this point Caldwell, in spite of some misguidedness, makes some important insights.
One of the reasons anti-bullying must be taught as a set of skills is that we have a wider culture that, in many contexts, holds bullying in high esteem… Getting rid of the old punitive morality that surrounded sexuality seemed like it would do no one any harm, and relieve a lot of unnecessary anguish and guilt. But young people have not reacted to it as theorised. They will gladly skip the “morality” part. But in a world as socially competitive as that of teen dating, the “punitive” part is simply too useful a tool to do without. So people proclaim themselves free of moral hang-ups, and yet throw around words like “slut” and “whore” with an abandon that no previous generation ever did. [emphasis added]
One is reminded of the story of Hope Witsell and the adults who were “responsible” in Florida. Of course, the toxic cocktail of savagery and hypocrisy has many cultural sources, including the parents themselves. On this point Mom Logic is instructive which, at first blush, seems to be a site targeted to well-intentioned moms who are staggeringly naive about the next generation’s behavior, and destructively old-fashioned in their sexual morals. So destructive that the site’s article on Hope Witsell, as well as the accompanying video from the “Today” show, audaciously speak of the “dangers” of sexting, apparently oblivious to the fact that those dangers (like the threat of prosecution for child pornography… for taking naked images of oneself) are totally of their own making, both culturally and legally. In the realm of outdated sexual morays is where the parallels with Hope Witsell are seen most strikingly, although Caldwell doesn’t quite realize it:
It is unlikely there was any moral disapproval in the taunts to which Prince was allegedly exposed. It might have been better if there had been. Moral pretensions might have led her alleged tormenters to look at their own conduct, and reined them in. In place of moralism we have nothing but the will to power and the desire to ostracise – a values system that differs from the old one only in its arbitrariness. [emphasis added]
Oh, so close, Chris! He is right to point out that moral disapproval—primarily on the part of the adults and supposedly “responsible” figures in question—should have been focused on Prince’s bullies. However, he fails to declare that greater disapproval should be and should have been directed at them than at Prince. No doubt in thrall to a traditional sexual morality, Caldwell inadvertently misses the larger part of the story, that sexual activity among teenagers is looked down upon and therefore those who receive insults or mocking for their sexual “deviance” are receiving their just desserts. And yes, this attitude is disturbingly prevalent even in leftist Massachusetts. The adults—in Florida as well as Massachusetts—no doubt had this anti-teen sex mindset in the back of their minds, and therefore were willing to look the other way at Prince’s misfortune, and to punish Witsell. “Well, bullying is bad… but, let’s face it, she shouldn’t have had that fling.”
How responsible. Indeed, how “responsible” for a culture of adults that on the one hand celebrates female sexual liberation, but on the other hand stops just short of telling young people “sex is good, not bad.” That is, a culture that worships youthful feminine beauty and the sexual expression thereof, whilst casting teen oral sex and “sexting” in demonic terms (complete with the shadowy image of a young woman curled up in a ball). Most teenage women in the US understand that they are expected to be sexy… just not too sexy. Not sexy enough, and you’re a prude. Too sexy, and you’re a slut. And how do you know when you’ve crossed the line into one or the other? Well, your peers will let you know, as they did Phoebe Prince and Hope Witsell. Between social conservatives and social liberals, the culture war continues on. And, like in any war, who loses? The weakest among us.
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